I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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