You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
