i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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