it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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