Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
