This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
