Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
