Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
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