gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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