Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
