Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
