You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize