I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
