Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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