I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
