there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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