I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
