I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
