I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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