By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
