I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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