idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
