he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
