Do you still have your period?
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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