billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
