Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
