it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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