I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
