i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
