there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
