I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
