Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
