I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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