I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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