Sry I called you an 8
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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