1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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