dude i'm inner monologue high
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
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