I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
