super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
my being single is dangerous.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
