beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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