We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
