I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
