Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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