this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
