Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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