After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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