4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
