We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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