Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
