Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
