i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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