How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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