Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
